


Keit Ai - Calling Me

by Godric_Damp



Category: Keit Ai
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 21:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7861570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Godric_Damp/pseuds/Godric_Damp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reddit Challenge Prompt 6: Phone Tag</p>
<p>A short story/scene experimenting with the plot concept of Keit Ai, an anime meme from the nightmarish depths of 4chan. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/keit-ai-finds-a-way</p>
<p>Basically it's about a girl listening in on strange phone conversation between a classmate and a mysterious caller. It's a bit of a mess, but let me know what you think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keit Ai - Calling Me

** Keit Ai - Calling Me **

 

**Damn it girl, why did I have to leave my bag in the classroom, now I have to traipse all the way back up...**

_"Hello?"_

**Shit, who the hell is that?**

_"Hi, it's John."_

**Wait, is someone on the phone in there, hopefully they won't mind if just pop in and grab my stuff?**

_"Yeah it’s me, now look what the hell happened earlier?"_

**Fuck, it had to be John, there's no way I can go in with him there, I'll have to just wait. Though he’d better not take too long, I mean who would that loser have to talk to anyway?**

_"Hey, calm down Jane, what do you mean I didn't know what you were talking about?"_

**Seriously, he's talking to a girl with the same name as me, how creepy can you get. Yeah we were friends as kids and all, but now he’s turned into a real freak. First he's always watching me, then he starts wanting to hang out again and finally he spent this morning ranting at me about how we were talking on the phone last night. Like I would ever give that guy my number now, the weirdo probably dreamt it all up.**

_"No, No, it was you telling me I was talking crap and that we'd never spoken on the phone."_

**Wait, what is he talking about, there is someone on the other end, isn’t there. Because he just the kind of freak show that might pretend to call me to satisfy some fucked up perversion.**

_"I would never call you anything like that, not even after you called me a freak and loser in front of the entire class."_

**That's because you are, but no, I can at least hear someone on the other end and ha ha, she sounds really pissed off.**

_"Yeah you did, was last night some kind of wind up to make me look like a complete prick and now you have the gall to accuse me of lying. Stop playing at being all innocent, you two faced bitch."_

**Wow who is this girl, she must have really pulled a fast one on him. Maybe he genuinely thought that she was me on the phone, serves him right for being an idiot.**

_"Hey, hey don't start crying, I err…"_

**Smooth move, champ, made the girl cry.**

_"Oh crap, look I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.”_

**Or maybe she's just pulled the old crying card to get out of trouble, nice going girl.**

_"You're confused; this whole thing is getting weirder by the moment. Look let's rewind and take a moment, explain to me exactly what happened at your end."_

**Well this exciting, with all your 'uh-huhs' and 'mmm-mmms' you sound like Jeff Goldblum, must be boring the poor girl to even more tears.**

_"I swear I never said those things to you, I'd never accuse of such things."_

**Oh of course, now you're mister chivalrous, I wonder what your precious little princess would think if she heard what you said to me earlier?**

_"Oh, okay. Well for me I came in expecting you to be all friendly after having, what I though was really nice chat last night."_

**Don't blush like that you idiot, you look like a 1st grader.**

_"Yeah well I thought so too, so I arrived thinking you'd be happy to see me. Instead you're glaring at me for smiling at you and start accusing me of being a creep. Then I asked you about last night, which made you go ballistic, calling me a stalker, creep and whole bunch of choice words. Admittedly I said a few back, but you said way more."_

**Yeah because you are all of those you… Wait, why is he talking to this girl as if she's me?**

_"You are one hundred percent sure that's not what happened?"_

**Holy crap, is this some crazy bitch pretending to be me or has he paid some prostitute to pretend as part of some fucked up fetish.**

_"Whoa whoa, I never said you were crazy, I'm just trying to figure out what the hell is going on."_

**She sounds like a nut job to me regardless, but he must be too to believe she could ever be me.**

 

_"Yeah you're right we need to get our basic facts straight, let's start with names and the like."_

**Jesus girl, don't go telling him that stuff, he'll be stalking noon and night. Hey and don't even think about giving him my number instead.**

_"Yeah that's all correct, that's my name and that's my school."_

**Maybe he's the one giving false information, maybe he's stringing some poor crazy girl along, making her do all kinds of weird shit.**

_"Wait that's impossible, I'm in that classroom right now, let me just check."_

**Shit, did he see me?**

_"Nope, no one else here, are you sure you’re not..?"_

**Phew, he didn't see me, but I'm tempted to leave the bag and run from this psycho.**

_"Oh Christ, please don't cry again, you're not going crazy or at least if you are, I am too."_

**Oh you are, both of you clearly are.**

_"I don't know what's going on and frankly it’s starting to freak me out too."_

**No it makes perfect sense, you are both, insane.**

_"Right I've got a really stupid idea, so I'm going to ask what may sound like some really bizarre questions. Like what is the number one song in the charts?"_

**Pfft that's easy.**

_"What you've no idea, actually thinking about it I'm not sure who it is either. Okay let's try something a bit broader."_

**You've no idea, because you're a crazy nerd. Jeez how can someone not know that?**

_"Yeah that's a good one. President Barack Obama is in the White House, though it'll probably soon be Donald Trump, God help us."_

**Too right it will be.**

_"Don't laugh it's not funny, I mean who do you think the President is?"_

**You'll be laughing on the other side of your face come election day**.

_"Seriously, the actor, what did he do terminate the opposition?"_

**What are they on about now, I hope this stupidity isn't infectious?**

_"Okay my hunch may be playing out for all the good it does us. Now for the jackpot question, are there any zeppelins in the sky?"_

**What's a Zeppelin, aren't they some band from the stone age?"**

_"Oh, well that's disappointing. On TV and in films, Zeppelins, airships or dirigibles are usually a sure sign."_

**A sign of what, that you're a fruit cake?**

_"Wait, you have airships, they’re like the same thing as Zeppelins. Aww you're so lucky, they're so much cooler than aeroplanes.”_

**No way, aeroplanes are… Christ, I’m not having that argument again, it used to drive me mad when we were kids.**

_"Wow, seriously that must have been so amazing. So much more exciting than crammed in a plane for a couple of hours, just to go see my aunt."_

**Isn't that the aunt that went crazy and lives with like hundred cats in a bunker, waiting for the end of the world?**

_"That's true I guess airships are much slower, but a lot more comfortable. I was squeezed next this guy who was the size of cow and smelled even worse, while a kid screamed behind me the whole way._ **Is this how you talk to girls, no wonder you're a loner.**

_"Ha, that's hilarious, I'm amazed they didn't just throw them out the door for that."_

**That laugh of yours is so dumb, it's probably a good thing you never laugh in class. I wonder what's so special about this girl to tickle your funny bone, maybe you’re just equally dumb.**

 

_"Oh dear, that must have been so crazy. Though speaking off which, what do you think Is actually going on. I’ve got a hunch but it just seems far too weird."_

**No shit, Sherlock.**

_"Yeah I think it’s got to be, though I won't even pretend to know how it happened, but it is the thing that fits the best."_

**What conclusion, put the damn phone on speaker.**

_"Yeah, well other than that obviously, though the odds of two crazies phoning each other with the same delusion is pretty slim as well."_

**Will you stop laughing like that, because coming from someone who is clearly delusional, it is fucking scary.**

_"Well if nothing else proves it, then the fact that you are so much cooler than her proves the theory to me."_

**What how can say that, you wouldn't know cool if you were in a freezer. Whoever this crazy bitch is, there is no way she's better than me.**

_"I doubt that somehow, I'm sure he's miles more interesting than me. Though I am kind of curious about what he’s like?"_

**Ha ha she's got a boyfriend, suck on it loser.**

_"Wow, I don't think I could ever be one of the popular guys, I wonder how he ended up being like that?_

**No, you couldn't be, ever.**

"What’s she like, well, she's okay I guess."

**Dude shut up, that blush of yours is grossing me out.**

_"Well we've been friends since we were little, but once we hit high school, she started hanging with the popular kids and you know."_

**No, you turned into a totally embarrassing nerd, who I didn't want to be seen dead with.**

_"Yeah it seems like there are some constants and some variables. What about you and him, are you two, erm?"_

**Aww the poor diddums, not liking that your crazy girl has a real man?**

_"I feel bad for saying this, but I'm kind of glad of that. It'd be really depressing to know that you were going out. Though, I'm sure it's his loss of course."_

**Well I'm glad there's someone is sensible enough to stay away from that bundle of crazy.**

_"Well if you want a tip, have your hair down, she looks so much better like that and you're bound to get his attention."_

**Yeah, I wondered why you kept creepily staring at me when my hairband broke the other week.**

_"Seriously, he's so lucky. Then I've no idea why he's hasn't asked you out, maybe try having your hair in buns, I think they look dumb on her, but he might like it."_

**Those buns aren't for your gratification mister, they're to keep my hair out my face. Also I think it might be the fact that she is a copycat psycho, that is hampering her relationship prospect** s.

_"Oswald, who's Oswald?"_

**Oswald?**

_"Yeah I've heard of Disney, are you talking about Mickey?"_

**Oh that Oswald, he was the original Disney mascot until he was dumped for the far superior Mickey. Everyone knows that, heck I'm sure I told you a thousand times when we were little.**

_"Well she loved Mickey when she was little, but I'm not sure he's still cool now."_

**He is still cool, just because he's not in a Pixar film, doesn't mean he's old hat!**

_"Yeah, she had quite a collection when I last went to hers, but that was ages ago. I doubt she want to risk her street cred if anyone saw it now. So she probably threw it all in the trash, rather than risk not being popular."_

**No, I kind of still have it in the cupboard, but there’s no way I’d throw it out.**

_"Wait by everything do you mean she might have..?"_

**Hey, what is she telling you?**

_"Ha ha, sorry that was the first thought that came in my head."_

 

**Right that's it, I'm putting a stop to this you disgusting pervert.**

_"Shit someone's outside the door, got to go."_

**Too fucking right I am.**

_"What, the same for you, well good luck, I'll speak to you later."_

**No you won't, give me that phone.**

_"Oh hi, how are you... No wait, don't touch the phone."_

**Give it here, now I'll find out who this girl is and who she thinks she is spilling my secrets.**

_"Hey who is this, what the fuck are you doing, pretending to be me so that Jane will tell you that shit?"_

**Wait there's a guy on the other end, who the hell is this?**

_"Who the hell is this?"_

**"I might ask you the same thing."**

_"What the fuck Jane, how are you on the phone, you're standing right in front of me."_

**"John, how are you, what the hell is going on?"**


End file.
